How to discover your child's strengths
Every child has strengths, but they don't always show in school marks. Calm observation and trying out different activities will help you discover your child's talents.
What you may notice
- In their free time your child keeps going back to the same activity and loses track of time.
- They ask lots of questions about one subject and always want to know more.
- Things others find hard, they do easily and with pleasure.
- Others come to them for a particular kind of help: making peace, building something or learning a poem.
- Their eyes light up when they talk about a favourite activity.
Possible reasons
- School marks show only part of a child's abilities, and many talents never come up in lessons.
- Your child hasn't yet had the chance to try many different activities.
- Fear of mistakes and comparisons with others hold your child back from trying new things.
- Adults sometimes value only 'prestigious' fields and overlook other strengths.
What to do
- For a week or two, watch what your child does in their free time, what they talk about most and what never seems to tire them.
- Keep the eight intelligences in mind in simple words: words, logic and numbers, pictures, movement, music, nature, people and self-understanding. Every child has their own mix.
- Offer varied activities that cost nothing: drawing, building with boxes, singing, active games, gardening, making up stories. Let your child try without fear and drop what they don't enjoy.
- Start a 'strengths diary': each week write down a few observations — what your child did, said and enjoyed. After a few months a clear picture will emerge.
- Ask your child: 'What comes easily to you? What makes you happy?' Also listen to teachers, kindergarten staff, grandparents and other relatives.
- Praise effort and progress, not just talent: 'You redrew this picture three times, and it got better every time.'
- Make room for the strength you've found every day and use it for harder things: a musical child, for example, can learn times tables to a tune.
What to avoid
- Don't push your child only towards 'prestigious' fields if their heart is set on something else.
- Don't draw conclusions after one failed attempt: 'You just don't have a gift for this.'
- Don't compare your child with siblings or others, and don't label them.
- Don't lock your child into one path too early: interests change as children grow.